Frequently Asked Questions

Psychotherapy sessions generally last 50 minutes and the cost is on a sliding scale depending on your financial situation and what you can afford. Payment arrangements are based on a trust system – I will never ask you to prove how much you can afford to pay. Below, I make suggestions based on your circumstances.

If there comes a time when you are not able to pay the agreed amount, please do let me know and we will explore options together.

Yes.

There can be lots of reasons to have a longer session, so I’m happy to explore whether this is the right option for you. Some people need more time to get into a ‘therapy head-space’ or go through information.

There are also plenty of reasons to have a shorter session. A person might not have the time to do an hour a week, or might find it overwhelming to spend so much time talking, especially at first.

If I get the impression that either of these options might be helpful for you, I will bring it up with you, but there is no obligation because you know best what you need.

There is no limit to how many sessions we can have, and no minimum number of sessions. When the time comes that you feel our work together isn’t necessary or helpful anymore, we can work towards an ending or explore reducing the session frequency.

Many therapy services offer ‘time-limited’ therapy, in which there are a set number of sessions, usually between 6 and 20. This can also be helpful, because a time limit can help someone stay more focused, and because it can feel more comfortable to know exactly how long the work will go for. If you would like to set a time limit, this is also an option.

I believe that feeling forced to come to therapy because you have to pay to cancel is not productive. I am privileged to have the ability to offer you flexibility around this. Free last-minute rescheduling and cancellations are a key part of the flexibility I offer. I work this way out of respect for your time and your needs, so I am also trusting you to be respectful and thoughtful towards me when you are making a booking or cancellation.

The time you have booked in with me is yours, so you will get at least full use of that time. This means that, no matter how late you are, we can use the time we have left. You are also welcome to cancel or reschedule, for free, if that ends up being the better option for you.

If we both have time to stay later, I will offer you the full session even if you are late. I can’t always guarantee this will be an option, though, as I might have another appointment after yours.

I want to hear if anything isn’t working well between us, and I hope we can talk about it and resolve it together. If not, I can help you explore what worked and didn’t work, so that you can go into your next psychotherapy relationship with a clearer idea of what you’re looking for. I can also signpost you to a colleague or different counselling and psychotherapy directories.

Absolutely!

Because of the professional setting of therapy, I find that a lot of my clients tend to change their way of speaking in sessions or apologise if they swear.

I think it’s important that you be able to express yourself without holding back, and this includes swearing. I have no personal issue with swearing, and I don’t find it offensive or disrespectful. 

I have been lucky and honoured to work with people with different beliefs, and unfortunately many of them have felt worried about my judgements or even apologised for bringing religion into the room. This is completely understandable given the way people might react in the outside world, but it’s not something you should be worrying about in therapy. I want to understand your world as well as I can, and that includes your relationship with God, religion, or magic.

If you want to include your beliefs within our work, I would be very happy to talk through how we might do that.

While I don’t have any specific psychosexual training, I am always open to talking about your sexuality and sex life.

Talking about sex, desire, and relationships can be a bit awkward. I’ve found that the words and language involved can be embarrassing to use for a lot of people (though not everyone). If this is the case for you, we can explore what might help you talk about it and what language you are comfortable with.

I have worked with many individuals who have experienced sexual trauma, and am very aware of the different ways in which this can impact someone’s relationship to sex.

I am aware of and open to all relationship types, including kink, polyamory, sex work, and non-sexual partnerships.

This is a big one! Especially because what is considered a ‘crime’ tends to be based on power structures rather than morality.

Many of the people I have worked with have committed crimes in order to survive, because of their social situation, or because of mental health or addiction issues. Not only do I not judge these actions, I feel they are sometimes an integral part to their stories and experiences, so I want to hear about them.

There are three things that I have to report by law if a client talks about them. These are:
– Under-age FGM, whether it’s being planned or it’s already happened
– A terrorist act, whether it’s being planned or it’s already happened
– Drug trafficking or money laundering, which is not the same as selling drugs or making money through crime

Outside of those three things, I would only consider reporting something if I thought someone would be in serious and avoidable danger otherwise. Whenever possible, I would speak to you before making a report.

If you are the victim or survivor of a crime, I will not report this without your consent.

Everyone is different – some people like that their therapist is a neutral person just there to focus on them, and other people like knowing a bit more so that they feel more comfortable in the room.

I am hoping to give you a space in which you talk about very vulnerable things, and once we’ve worked together a while I might know quite a lot about you. I think it’s only fair to show you the trust that you are showing me. If there’s something you want to know about me, don’t hesitate to ask.

Sometimes, I might want to talk about why you want to know first. This is to help you make sure that you really do want to, and to keep the focus on you, which is my job.

Outside of our sessions, it is completely up to you what you do. I will never push you to stop doing something in order to work with me. If you want to reduce your substance use, I will support you with this, but I will never pressure you to.

During a session, you are welcome to smoke cigarettes or vape if the space we are in permits it. If we are working in-person in my home, you can vape but not smoke cigarettes. If we are working online, I leave it to you do act appropriately in the space you are in.

If you arrive intoxicated, I am still open to doing the session if that’s what you want to do. I’ve had experience of this going well and not so well, and it will mainly depend on the specific situation.

Through my work with the homeless community, I have experience of working with people who have alcohol or drug dependence issues and who will need to be intoxicated or drinking during a session. If this is something you think you might need, we can discuss how to best make it work.

I have found that being sober for therapy sessions can be a powerful goal for clients who struggle with addiction, but it is not something I will ever impose on you.

Please do. I am here for any feelings you have and however you want to express them.

If you are angry at me or I’ve done something that hurt you, I want to know, and I understand that it might be difficult to tell me without getting upset. I might set some boundaries if you’re abusive, but I am committed to not using my power in the relationship to shut down your anger. I will never end our work together because of how you expressed your emotions.

If you are angry or hurt by something outside of the room, you don’t ever have to hold back from expressing this, as long as we’re able to stay safe.

When I first tried therapy myself, I did a lot of holding back my hurt from making me cry. A big reason for this was that I was worried about what would happen if I let go and felt it. I thought I might start crying and never stop. I worried that would be a waste of time, or awkward for the therapist, or even worse – go over the hour I had paid for!

Now that I am a therapist myself, I have had lots of people apologise to me when they cry in a session. This is understandable, because it can be really uncomfortable to have someone witness so much hurt and vulnerability. A client might also worry about upsetting me, or feel guilty if I get tearful myself.

To put it as simply as possible – this is what I am here for. The therapy room is a strange place, but the idea is for it so be a space where you can feel whatever you’re feeling, no matter how big or even irrational it is. You don’t need to worry about the impact it will have on me or what I might think about you – it’s my job to manage those things so that you can focus on you.

There are, of course, lots of other reasons why letting yourself feel things might be scary or take a while, and that’s completely normal. There’s no obligation to cry or show feelings in any obvious way at any stage, but I hope that as we spend more time together you will feel better able to if that’s the right thing for you.

Nothing is ‘too much information’ if you want to share it with me.

I have mostly worked with disabled or chronically ill individuals (though not exclusively), so topics like using the toilet, personal hygiene, or having invasive medical procedures come up a lot. If a client didn’t speak to me about them, I wouldn’t have the chance to understand their experience and what life is like for them.

Talking about these topics is very stigmatised in our society, which can add to the stress or trauma they bring. My aim is to give you at least an hour of time in which they’re treated as the completely understandable and normal things that they are.